Caning

Caning

The image associated with caning is of a schoolroom role play, where an unruly student is being corrected by the teacher. This is not the only scenario in which canes can be utilised.

Materials:

Basically, you should look for a member of the rattan family called kooboo or dragon canes. Dragon is firmer, denser and offers a thuddier and crushing sensation. Kooboo is lighter, more flexible and offers a more whippy, stingy sensation. Rattan heart is also available and is somewhere between the two – a firm, stingy sensation.

Synthetic:

These are a relatively recent addition to the traditional cane materials and offer distinctly different sensations to the natural products. They can be thuddier, more stingy and may have more weight in their impact.

Scening with canes

Although they do not have as much versatility as floggers, we can use them with a variety of techniques.

Warming-up during an SM scene, canes can be used in a gentle, drumming and rhythmic motion either to change tempo or as an accompaniment to music. This can have a relaxing and soothing effect, allowing the sub to unwind and dive into the scene.

They can be used lightly all over the body – gently tap the skin, drag the tip over the body, roll down the body; to create a myriad of sensations. Then build up intensity – largely over the bottom using stronger strokes. Leave time between hits for the submissive to take in and process the sensation – this will enable them to get endorphins and take more.

Hitting with a cane is largely in the wrist – you do not need to take the arm back for a full swing. This will increase your chances of inaccuracy and possibly make it too intense. Positioning is also key, you should stand perpendicular to the target area so that you are striking evenly over both buttocks.

From thin, whippy canes which sting to large, rigid canes which thud and impact the skin and tissues beneath. We can send the body on a sensation roller coaster.

What to look for when buying canes:

Initially, check the cane for splintering and run your finger down the length. Check there are no cracks, faults or scratchy edges. It is not a requirement that the cane be totally straight, it is a natural plant and therefore some slight bending is not a fault and should not affect handling. Flick the cane to check how whippy and controllable it will be to ensure it is what you feel comfortable handling or receiving.

Another consideration is the length of cane you should select. Longer canes are generally more intense, more difficult to handle, but they offer greater versatility to the experienced handler. Shorter canes are better for control, firmer and less whippy and offer the best introduction to caning for newbie subs and doms.

Crook handle canes are traditionally associated with school role plays. They are not a requirement of canes in general. In fact many players find that the handles inhibit wrist movement.

Safety Tips

• Most commonly recognisable as a member of this family of plants is bamboo, this however does not make canes that should be used on humans. It has a tendency to split or fracture and the ends can be razor sharp.
• Canes can bruise deeply, so avoid internal organs; particularly the lower back (kidneys). Expect that your sub will have red stripes on their bottom which can take several days to fade.
• When hitting with a cane you should be careful not to wrap the cane. Wrapping is when force of impact makes the tip continue to accelerate and curl around the body – usually striking the hips.

Nipples

Nipples are so sensitive they send delicious messages to the brain, which makes them great fun to play with in BDSM scenes, as well as foreplay. For many there is a blurred line between pain and pleasure when it comes to nipple play, which can be fascinating to manipulate in a scene and a great introduction to BDSM for many couples. In this blog I will discuss various options of clamps and toys, as well as various tips for nipple play.

The most obvious nipple play toy is clamps. These squeeze the nipple, feeling rather like your partner pinching them. The great thing about them is that it leaves your partner’s hands free for elsewhere…. There are a huge variety of styles and each type is very different. When you are new to clamps the best place to start is adjustable clamps. These allow you to alter the pressure, so you can start off gentle then build things up as you grow accustomed to clamps or more excited through the scene. Within adjustable clamps there are several different types – it starts to get complicated!

Tweaser clamps have a sliding ring which you simply push up or down the bar to adjust the pressure. This is my favourite style as they can be adjusted simply and quickly, and they can be gentle or intense within moments. You can adjust them one-handed while they are being worn, allowing you to alter the pressure without slowing things down.

Screw clamps have a screw which you can use to adjust the maximum pressure the clamps will exert when being worn. These allow a great variety in intensity – ranging from gentle to very intense.

Wide clamps are great for building the tension during an SM scene. They have a bar you can slowly screw downwards, making the clamps tighter and tighter. Ideal for building anticipation…

If you really enjoy intense nipple play it is time to try out clover clamps. These produce a very intense pinching sensation and are not adjustable – infact their compensating joints mean they tighten further when you tug on them. This makes them ideal for pain sluts and for weight training. They stay on well – on both small and large nipples, and you can pull them, twist them, and dangle weights to vary the intensity from ‘ouch’ to ‘owwwww’ and get a fantastic range of facial expressions!

As well as they type of clamp you should consider whether you would like a chain linking the clamps or beads/dangles/bells on the clamps. Chains are great for tugging on both clamps at once – adding that extra sensation instantly, however they are cold and can be uncomfortable if the wearer will be laying on their back. Chains can also get in the way and make it easier to accidentally rip the clamps off (ouch!) during rough sex. Bells can be a lot of fun as an alternative to a chain – imagine telling the wearer they have to dance wearing just the clamps, vigorously enough to make them jingle, while you sit back and watch. Alternatively give them a flogging and tell them they have to stay so still that you cannot hear the bells…

Clamps are not the only item that is great fun to use on nipples – think about a variety of sensations, especially as clamps will make the area more sensitive and responsive. Feather ticklers, fur strokers and ice can be great for calming things down or building anticipation. These can be brought into an intense pain play scene or a sensual pleasure play foreplay session. Mini floggers, claw rings, and wartenberg pinwheels are ideal for flicking and scratching play, as a variety to clamps. Try using these both while clamps are attached and after they are removed for a variety of responses. A gentle, repetitive flicking of the nipples with a small flogger can be excruciatingly delicious as the sensation simply builds and builds.  Many people’s nipples are so sensitive that you can build a whole scene around playing with their nipples – try adding some bondage to add to their frustration, or use the same items on their genitals too.

Practical tips for nipple play:

- The most intense moments when using clamps are putting them on and removing them, so repeat this procedure several times during a scene rather than simply leaving them on for a longer time.

- As the blood surges back to the tissue when clamps are removed, strong sensations are sent from the receptors in the nipples. Experiment with releasing the clamps as your partner reaches orgasm.

- If the nipple goes numb or the tissue goes white remove the clamps, as long term exposure can cause nerve damage. After a few moments you can always have the fun of reattaching them!

- Women’s nipples particularly can be more sensitive at certain times of the month, so bear this in mind before you being play and vary your play/choice of toys accordingly.

- Clamps are not just for nipples – try clover clamps on the tops of ears for pain sluts, or try adjustable clamps on the clit hood to increase sensitivity.
- Play with temperature as well as pinching - try ice or a blunt knife for cold sensations and a hot mouth or candle wax for a warm sensation.

Starting your bdsm journey

Curious about kink but don’t know where to start? This month I will be giving you some tips for trying out the basics, as well as ideas on taking things further if you enjoy it!

Communication is key to having a great time with kink. It is vital to chat with your partner before you begin, about such topics as toys which interest you, ideas that you find hot, words and outfits you think are sexy, as well as covering key ideas which are scary or a turn off so you both know what to avoid. Decide who is going to be in charge during the play (the Dominant) and agree that if things get too intense at any point you will stop or slow it down.

It can be a good idea to have this chat a few days or at least a few hours before you will have your first kinky play. This gives time for the anticipation to build, but also allows the Dominant some time to gather toys/outfit/ideas together.

Remember at all times the key rule for kink is to keep it SSC, Safe, Sane and Consensual. Do not agree on or attempt anything that may be unsafe for either person, does not feel sane, and stick to acts that you have both agreed and consented to.

When you are about to begin, having a way to symbolise you are in role as Dominant and Submissive can be sexy and help it feel special. It may be putting on (or taking off) an outfit, item of jewellery, or (more traditionally) a collar.

For your first venture into kink, keep it simple and fun. If you have decided on a tie and tease scene, try using scarves or ties to tie your partner up (but keep scissors handy incase you cannot undo the knots easily). Alternatively simply pin them down with one hand. Check round the house first for items which will provide interesting sensations. Some ideas are hairbrushes for stroking, ice cubes for temperature play, velvet or silk clothing for draping and stroking over the skin. Also think about using all of your body – hands, nails, hair, tongue, for stroking, pinching, tickling, slapping, scratching, nibbling, etc. Play with sensation all over their body, rather than sticking to obvious erogenous zones.

Alternatively you may have decided on a hot and horny sex scene with one partner being the Dominant, taking charge. Think about the language you will both use, a suitable position to reinforce Dominant/Submissive roles, and outfits/role play. A blindfold can be a great way to add to the fantasy element.

As already stated communication is key and this applies after the scene as well. Soon after the scene have a frank and open chat about how you both feel it went. Discuss which aspects you enjoyed, what you would like to take further, as well as any parts you did not enjoy or did nothing for you. Remember at this point to discuss whether to stick to the same roles next time or switch over. Many couples find they enjoy switching roles and exploring many different types of scene, while some find a role they each enjoy and stick to them.

If you have enjoyed yourselves and wish to incorporate kink into more of your sex life together consider buying some fetish equipment to incorporate into your play. You can buy lots of sex toys and some fetish items from sex shops. For specialist fetish equipment you can visit a fetish market to shop with a range of companies. Alternatively you can find suppliers online, including our own website www.freakclubwear.co.uk When shopping it is often fun to buy a small amount of items that are key to the type of scenes you are enjoying e.g. wrist cuffs for bondage, a paddle for punishment, an outfit for role play, etc. Then add to your kit every few weeks/months. This gives you the thrill of something new to try out on a regular basis and adds to the excitement and anticipation. It means you can consider purchasing high quality, luxury items rather than lots of cheap toys that may disappoint.

When planning to take a scene deeper, remember to do some research. This can provide you with some great ideas as well as helping you to keep it safe if it is a topic you know little about. Fetlife is a great resource website where you can read about other’s experiences, ask questions about kink, find out about fetish events and scenes, and make new friends. For practical ‘how to’ tips you can:

1)     Read books – try The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book for a great starting point or there are plenty more specialist books if you want to cover a particular topic e.g. bondage.

2)     Visit a fetish market or party with a workshop – there are several larger markets/events with workshops run on a regular basis around the UK. You can find out about your nearest one at Fetlife. The largest monthly fetish market in the UK, with a different workshop every month is the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar. For those around London and the South Coast take a look at the London Fetish Fair.

3)     Attend a one-on-one tutorial – if venturing into public is not your thing or you want to cover specific topics at your pace a fetish tutorial might work better for you. We offer a range of tutorials in the Midlands at Freak Clubwear 

However don’t get too caught up in trying to scene ‘the right way’. As long as you keep things SSC the only right way is whatever works for your and your partner. Keep it fun and enjoyable for you both and you are sure to find kink a way to develop further your trust and intimacy as a couple.

If you have enjoyed this introduction to kink you can read many more practical BDSM articles in Curious Magazine. You can order a free copy of the new issue and back issues of Curious Magazine here. 

Welcome to freakclubwear's blogging project. We're hoping to cover some tips on bdsm equipment care, usage and scene info.